Groundrules
Attendance and behaviour at meetings
Disruptive and abusive behaviour will not be tolerated. Disruptive behaviour includes, but is not limited to, being drunk or under the influence of drugs, and physical intimidation and threats. Abusive behaviour includes, but is not limited to, offensive comments directed at another group member’s racial group, religion, sexual orientation, disability, class, ethnicity, nationality, age, gender, gender identity, social status or political affiliation. Offenders against these rules will be asked to leave the meeting and may be permanently barred from the group.
Time-keeping
Be on time. We show a lack of respect by turning up late for the start of sessions and interrupting individuals, who may be already talking in the group. We respect our peers by ensuring we turn up before the start of the sessions and if unavoidably late, quietly and discreetly join the rest of the group.
Mobile phones
Switch off mobile phones. We show a lack of respect when we allow our mobile phone to ring during the session and disturb the discussion. We respect our peers by ensuring we switch off our mobile phone prior to the start of the session.
Talking too much
Keep to the point. We show a lack of respect by using the limited time available to talk about our own issues and ignoring the need of others to share theirs too. We respect our peers by keeping to the point in what we say and being aware that others need time to share their issues too.
Patience
Wait until the other has finished. We show a lack of respect by talking over people, or interrupting them. We respect our peers by waiting until they have finished, before we respond.
Paying attention
Manage the urge to engage with others, while others speak. We show a lack of respect when we distract others by whispering/talking or signalling to our neighbour, while another is talking to the group. We respect our peers when we use self-control to remain attentive to others who are talking.
Differing points of view
Agree or disagree with ‘points of view’, not people. We show a lack of respect by judging others because of their point of view, rather than just disagreeing with the point of view itself. We respect our peers by agreeing/disagreeing with their views rather than the person themselves. As a diverse group of people, we are much more than a particular point of view, on a particular occasion.
Making assumptions
Assume nothing until checking it out first. We show a lack of respect by publicly expressing assumptions about others and their lifestyles that we haven’t verified. We respect our peers by tentatively checking out assumptions first, before publicly expressing them.
The right to hold a point of view
Accept diversity. We show a lack of respect by insisting on repeatedly trying to change another’s point of view just because it differs from our own. We respect our peers when we accept that they are entitled to hold different points of view for our own, even when challenged in a respectful manner. No one individual has a monopoly on ‘truth’ or ‘rightness’ to impose on others.
Impatient and/or bored
Manage feelings of impatience and boredom. We show a lack of respect by expressing obvious signs of impatience and/or boredom when others are talking. We respect our peers when we use our own powers to control these feelings and express them appropriately, assertively and respectfully.
Getting angry
Managing feelings of anger. We show a lack of respect when we work ourselves into a state of annoyance/anger and express it inappropriately through shouting, swearing, making snide remarks, walking out, physically threatening others. We respect our peers by controlling our feelings of anger, calming ourselves down, until we can express it assertively and appropriately with the rest of the group.
Talking outside sessions
Discuss generalities, not specific details. We show a lack of respect by disclosing (without permission), the names and personal details of others outside the group, whether it be partners, friends, acquaintances, etc. We respect our peers by keeping quiet about specific names and personal details of others. However, we can discuss the general content of sessions, points of view and conclusions.
Meeting others outside the sessions
Be discreet. We show a lack of respect by associating others with the group (without prior permission), if meeting them publicly. We respect our peers by being discreet about how we know them, unless specifically okayed by the other.
The ‘voluntary’ email list
Be responsible sending emails. We show a lack of respect by using the email list thoughtlessly, without knowing who else might be accessing it and possibly compromising the confidentiality of others. We respect our peers by accepting responsibility for risking our own details and being careful and discreet about sending emails.
Personal disputes with others
Resolve outside in private. We show a lack of respect by using the sessions as public arenas for resolving personal disputes. We respect our peers by dealing with personal disputes with others outside the sessions and in private.
Complaints
Follow the agreed complaints procedure. We show a lack of respect by complaining outside the agreed procedures. We respect our peers by ensuring we exercise our right to complain within the agreed procedures.
Facilitation
Our meetings are self-facilitated, with one member acting as lead facilitator and another as co-facilitator. Upon first attending the group, a facilitator will show a copy of the ‘ground rules’ to the new member. At the beginning of each meeting, the lead facilitator will state that the group is governed by the group’s ‘ground rules’. The facilitators will ensure they are used as an instrument to address issues around participant and facilitator behaviour. In exceptional circumstances, facilitators may need to exclude a participant who has broken the ground rules.
Facilitator appointment
When a vacancy becomes available, facilitators are chosen from among regularly attending members by a steering group of members. To become a facilitator, one steering group member must propose and be seconded by one other steering group member. A probation of three months as co-facilitator will follow, whereby the member can expect to receive support and feedback from steering group members.
GMG WhatsApp group rules and etiquette
As well as sharing the highs and lows of our day-to-day lives, this is a great medium with which to solicit the advice of fellow members, seek help, share knowledge, participate in ongoing conversations and, most of all, benefit from the experiences of others.
GMG reserves the right to suspend or terminate membership for members who violate these rules.
By joining this WhatsApp group, you agree that you have read and will follow these rules and guidelines set out below, you also agree to abide by all relevant policies and procedures of the main GMG group.
Rules & Etiquette
- In online chat, unlike a face-to-face conversation, it’s sometimes hard to make others see your point. Please respect others’ opinions even if they differ from yours. Also, keep in mind that phrases, tones of voice, irony, and the like do not translate well to text – these can read as offensive to some, even if they were not intended that way.
- Always treat other members courteously and with respect as you would wish to be treated.
- Opinions in the group are diverse and sometimes directly polarised – but please note that differences in opinion must be addressed with respect.
- Posted comments and images are available for all to see, please respect diverse nature of this group – also please do not overload the chat with pictures, videos or links.
- Please do not conduct lengthy one-on-one chats in the group. It it best to contact the person directly and continue the conversation privately. This also applies if you have a dispute or disagreement with a member.
- Do not post comments that you would not want the world to see, or that you would not want anyone to know came from you.
- Do not disclose personal, confidential or privileged information about yourself or other members of the group.
- Do not defame, disparage, or criticise any person whether inside the group of not.
- All forms of hate speech and defamatory, abusive, profane, threatening, offensive and pornographic comments/images are strictly prohibited and will result in immediate removal from the WhatsApp group.
Posting comments is meant to stimulate conversation and to promote support, not to create contention. Let others have their say, just as you may.
In the event of a dispute, please immediately ‘private message’ an administrators rather than engage directly and risk escalating the situation.
Breaking of these basic guidelines will normally result in the member(s) being temporarily suspended from the GMG WhatsApp group. Once investigated, and pending a decision by a quorum of administrators, a longer suspension of 1 to 3 months may follow.
When everyone speaks respectfully, the group remains inviting for all kinds of opinions and views.
